Getting Over It.

I’m twenty-something but I am still such a baby.

It’s been two years since my dad passed away but I’m still so sad and I miss him so much. I wish he was still here so I can help him design more pamphlets for his ministry and proof-read his funny English.

Up until the night before his death, I still fought with him over some stupid noodles.

Why didn’t I just hug him and say that I love him?

That would have been too sissy and I am not a sissy. Our family don’t express feelings with words, we’re all just actions. If you love someone, you just do it. No need for stupid words. We can’t even give a proper “sorry”, instead we buy food as a sign of apology. It works. But it only goes so far because I wished I said “Sorry”. I hope when I have children, I will be able to teach them that words are just as important as actions.

Sometimes, I dream about him and in my dream I am aware that he is gone, I even ask him about death. I’m always so happy to see him and I never want it to end. But a dream is just a dream. It ends. And when I wake up, it makes me so depress that I don’t want to do anything but lie in bed all day.

Life goes on….

I know that.

I’ve read books, articles on how to deal with grief and lost of a parent and to move beyond it.

They never really say much. Time will heal the pain.

I don’t think I will ever get over his death.

How does one truly move on? Do you just gradually forget about it?


May your love annihilate me

“When my hand is in yours, all of paradise is mine.
When you’re with me, what use have I for the world?
May your love annihilate me.” 
– Mere Haath Mein from Fanna

What a deep and passionate verse. You can almost taste the desire in the words. Even though, I am a spinster – I still hold out hope for someone who will be as ardent in his love and affection for me as this verse. LOL!

First post.

A new place to rant because clearly facebook is not a good place to write things that will be read by one’s nosy family members.

Welcome to Spinsters and the Epitome of Whatnots.

I am Miss Spinster and here will be the trivial accounts of my daily life.

I hope to brighten your day with my selfish, rambunctious, ideology or the lack thereof.

Happy readings!